I'm on day 4 in Johns Hopkins hospital. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I'm hosting. Ha! Tonight I'll have 15 people sleeping at my house. I was admitted late Sunday evening for dehydration and a severe headache. I started whole brain radiation on Tuesday, 11/15, and I have been vomiting every day up until yesterday. Steroids are the god of drugs. Sweet relief. I'm really hoping to be discharged today.
Hoping...hope, my drug of choice. When I get that first glimmer of feeling better I see hope peeking around the corner looking playful and calling to me. It's irresistible. Maybe I'm not going to die soon, maybe I have another few months, maybe another year or two, maybe...? I will give anything to keep hope around me. Feed it what it wants, play with it, spend time telling it how much I love it, making it promises I probably can't keep....but I can't give up on hope.
I am thankful for every minute that I am here.
